Near Death Experience
No one ever thinks about having a near death experience until they do.
My near-death experience happened when I was 17 yrs old. I call it “The Blue Coat”, I hope you enjoy it.
It was a boring school afternoon, and the light was just starting to drift towards evening, yet enough time to grab a quick ride on my horse.
My mare was young and inexperienced, in the middle of training, and fractious. I, too, was young and inexperienced and thought of myself as a horse trainer.
Training her had always been so easy but today was different and no amount of pull on the reins could get her to yield to my requests.
I walked her around as I thought for a moment, thinking of a solution, ah ha, maybe a different set of reins, something with more strength, and perhaps, I could just pull her head all the way around to get her to just yield. I sat firmly in the saddle, and gave a good yank on the left rein, momentarily she stopped and turned her head back towards me. I thought, ok, we are getting somewhere,
But suddenly the next moment she launched straight up into the air, her head whipping side to side. I could feel her beginning to fall backwards, like a great yawn slowing time, up, and then her legs no longer touched the ground, and she was falling over backwards with me. I could feel the ground coming up fast towards my back.
Blackness.
Nothing.
Quiet.
Abruptly . . . Color! Bright, vivid color!
Like swimming underwater and then suddenly bursting to the surface and being surrounded by so much color compared to underwater. It was shockingly vibrant. The color was almost alive, and it attacked my senses. I became aware that I was standing on a great high hill that felt like a mountain. The grass was a brilliant green that undulated in the breeze as I looked into the distance. I became aware of a sweet soft breeze going by. It touched my cheeks, and I became aware of my hair blowing in the breeze and gradually it began to whip against my face. Faster, faster.
I held out my arms and it felt like I could fly. The breeze became wind that surrounded my back, rushed around my outstretched arms. Gradually, I became aware of a being, possibly an angel, male, with long white robes, standing to my right.
“You cannot stay here, you must return”, he spoke in a deep voice.
I looked around and felt like the hill had grown into a mountain, and clouds had formed below us. It was magnificent. The radiance of love permeated everything. I felt a vast sense of belonging and wonder swept over me.
“Please let me stay”, I pleaded.
The Angel replied “It is not your time; you have much to do. You are needed elsewhere”, he said.
“Can I ask one question?” I requested.
He replied “Yes, you may”, and he looked down at me.
“Why Life?”, I said, I needed to know.
He raised his right hand to point to the right and pow! we were moving through time, like a celestial rocket, I was flying, and time rushed past my face. I closed my eyes, as the feeling of wonder enveloped me. After what seemed like only moments I abruptly stopped and was floating in the air. I became aware that there was a great deal of excitement to such a great degree that you could feel the electricity in the air. I had been swept into a vortex of time with thousands and thousands of beings like me drifting down to the Earth.
I knew that I was part of something beyond my ability to be aware, and I could sense that everything I saw was all part of one united thing. I looked above me and knew immediately the profoundness of this moment. There before me was God, floating in time and he was shedding part of his ethereal body into Souls, and we were falling like rain towards the Earth. We were in fact a piece of God himself, a living, throbbing, gelatinous ball of unconditional love beyond my words today. God’s frequency was riveting, and I wanted to feel it more and more. As we drift further away from God, we became unique individuals.
I hated leaving and I screamed stop! Please keep me with you. Please keep all the souls together as one, where we all belong and are united. But I didn’t stop, and I was falling backwards, looking up into Almighty God himself. So selfless, so loving. He chose to create each of us in his image of love. So vast was the unconditional love, it hurt to leave. We did not have bodies yet. We were simply balls of holy ethereal energy. There was joy, laughter, glee, jubilation as all the souls fell together towards Earth, darting back and forth, learning to have our own independence and autonomy.
God had made a decision to shed pieces of himself into souls that would allow him to understand everything that is, was, will be, an absolute awareness with all genders, colors, ages, places, times, etc. At any given moment, God knows all and controls all. Nothing would happen on Earth without God being aware of it and sanctioning it. As a newly shed soul it was a very spectacular and spiritual time. The joy and excitement of being part of something bigger than us was beyond words. I was smiling endlessly. There were thousands of souls, as far as my awareness could see, as we fell, they surrounded me. We floated down and stood together waiting with anticipation to learn what it all meant.
Suddenly the Arch Angel Michael appeared and pointed to a vast sea of choices. All different colors and sizes, undulating and bobbing in the beautiful light, as far as I could see or be aware. We all shrieked with joy! One by one each soul walked into the vastness and were given a coat of awareness to wear that would connect us with God. He would be absolutely aware of everything, and this coat of awareness would resonate through all our lives as our focal point that gave God the ability to know everything that was simultaneously happening from a physical, spiritual, experiential vantage point. God had rained us all down, but he still had a string running back to his being, a cord of life of sorts.
He knows everything that you think, feel, express, create. Your wants and desires, intent. Your fear and hatred. Your physical, emotional, spiritual joy and pain. That tiny thread is with you always until the end of your life.
He knows.
He knows everything.
You cannot hide or lie. It is not possible. After choosing a coat of awareness God creates spiritual contracts with you to direct the work that he needs from you. You are absolutely unique in this universe, in eternity. You will experience exactly what he needs through you, this Coat is your vehicle that will entwine itself through your lives.
You have absolutely no idea how much you mean to God.
I was also aware that somehow all-time was happening at once.
I know that sounds crazy, but the perfection of this concept danced in my mind. I eagerly waited for my turn to arrive, and I could hardly contain myself. Finally, it was my turn to walk into the sea of choices to discover my mission and find my coat of awareness. It felt much like wading through invisible water, all warm and inviting. I looked around waiting for a sign to know which coat would be mine. They all looked amazing and inviting.
Suddenly the sea began to part, and a single beautiful blue coat was hanging there in the air, it was spectacular, absolutely dazzling in its beauty, beyond words. All the other coats seemed to fade into the distance, and I knew this was the one for me. I could not take my eyes off of it. I marveled at its beauty as I put it on my coat of awareness, I strutted around looking down at it, admiring the magnificence. I was overcome with the excitement and joy of going forward to do God’s work.
This coat opened my awareness to the extreme and I felt totally aware of my connection with God. It was like I was connected by more than just a simple thread, and I was absolutely willing to go forward to be Gods hands. I was acutely aware that God was in me. God was part of everyone, and I was part of everything living.
I was aware that I would be on the physical plane so that He would know about us all, every soul that has ever incarnated, and this includes animals, and any living creature, sea life, botanical life, insects, trees, flowers, plants, etc. contain a piece of God and he feels the intentions and emotions.
This was absolutely the most amazing awareness I could possibly ever have as a soul having a human experience. Inside every soul we all know all these things. We are all finely tuned with God, but as humans we experience God’s veil which prevents us from having this awareness. If we knew all of this, we would want to go back, and it would pollute God’s ability to challenge us. It is the reason suicide is considered so bad in all religions.
I was basking in this frequency of awareness and waiting for it to be revealed what my coat of awareness meant. Suddenly, an Angel, standing to my left behind me, instructed me to turn around to my right, so that I could see the lives that would be ahead of me.
I slowly turned and saw a long and winding road ahead of me covered in round orbs of different colors each filled with different lives. Slowly, one by one, they began to popped open, like a nut cracking. They each contained a different life. The memories leaked out when they cracked open and I could see all the challenges, the pain, the suffering, the poverty, the loss, the death, dying, murder…
I panicked and saw myself as a victim and wondered how all of that could be happening to me, I closed my eyes and began to turn around to ask the angel what did all of this mean? But, I knew I could feel how real it was. Somewhere inside of me I knew they were familiar, and they felt right. But before I could ask the angel my question, I was falling, tumbling through time, and then a
hard bang and I was back in my body, racked with pain. I could not breathe. It hurt so badly to breathe. I could not move or catch my breath. I lay flat on my back in the dirt, and I could not think about anything but pain.
I blinked and realized that I was alive. I was back in my body. My glimpse of God and the beginning to time on this planet had ended.
Why? Why?
I do not understand. Everything I had seen and learned did not fit in my human brain. The memory was just past my fingertips. I could almost touch it. I immediately missed Heaven. I wanted to go back. I became angry that I could not stay in Heaven. I was angry that I did not know what the meaning of the coat of awareness was. I had no road map, no guide, no one to show me the way. The adults who came rushing to my rescue had no idea what had happened and simply took me home.
Apparently, I told everyone I was fine. But, for me, I did personally not remember anything for days. How long was I gone? a moment, a day? Who knew? Who cared? I wasn’t in Heaven and that is all I cared about. I have spent the remainder of my life trying to understand what happened at that moment.
Why was I sent back and when could I return? I long to return to my heavenly home, that amazing place of love and beauty, back to my real and true home with God. Back to the afterlife.
But I was here on this planet, and I was broken. I didn’t know that I had broken not only my saddle, but I had compression fractures in my back. I needed to be in a hospital, but without health insurance, and not knowing how badly I was injured, my parents did what they could and took me home to recover.
20 years later, during an exam for travel, an MRI would reveal the true extent of my injuries that day.
Many times, during my life I tried to connect the dots between Child of God and this near-death experience. But I really couldn’t at this point, but later, as I had more spiritual experiences, it became clearer.
I know this is going to sound strange, but let me give you a lifeline listeners, if you find yourself out of your body and you are confused about what is happening, just visualize me, Grace Star, or Clovistia, just seriously picture us and ask to be with us. I have a bunch of angels around me all the time that help with these situations.