Everything was silent and calm. I was immediately aware that I was in the exact moment where I was a newly shed soul. I was overwhelmingly aware that it wasn’t a dream.  I was physical.  I was real.  I was falling to earth with thousands of other souls that had been newly shed from God’s being and we were joyously falling together as God’s soldiers.  God had made a decision to shed pieces of himself into souls that would allow him to understand everything that is, was, will be in absolute awareness with all genders, colors, ages, places, times, etc. At any given moment, he knows all and controls all. Nothing would happen on Earth without God being aware of it and sanctioning it.  As a newly shed soul it was a very spectacular and spiritual time.  The joy and excitement of being part of something bigger than us was beyond words. I was smiling endlessly. There where thousands of souls, as far as my awareness could see, as we fell, they surrounded me. We floated down and stood together waiting with anticipation to learn what it all meant.  Suddenly the Arch Angel Gabriel appeared and pointed to a vast sea of choices.  All different colors and sizes, undulating in the beautiful light, as far as I could see or be aware. We all shrieked with joy! One by one each soul walked into the vastness and were given a coat of awareness to wear that would connect us with God.  He would be absolutely aware of everything and this coat of awareness would resonate through all of our lives as our focal point that gave God the ability to know everything that was simultaneously happening from a physical, spiritual, experiential vantage point. 

I was also aware that somehow all time was happening at once. I know that sounds crazy, but the perfection of this concept danced in my mind. I eagerly waited for my turn to arrive, and I could hardly contain myself.  Finally it was my turn to walk into the sea of choices to discover my mission and find my coat of awareness. It felt much like wading through invisible water, all warm and inviting. I looked around waiting for a sign to know which coat would be mine. They all looked amazing and inviting.  Suddenly I saw a beautiful blue coat that was spectacular, absolutely dazzling in its beauty beyond words. All the other coats seemed to fade into the distance and I knew this was the one for me.  I could not take my eyes off of it. I marveled at its beauty as I put it on, and strutted around looking down at it, admiring the magnificence. I was overcome with the excitement and joy of going forward to do God’s work. This coat opened my awareness to an extreme and I felt totally connected to God. I was absolutely willing to go forward to be His hands. I was acutely aware that God was in me. God was part of me. God was me and I was to walk the physical plane so that HE would know about us all, every soul that has ever incarnated, and this includes animals, and any living creature, sea life, botanical life, insects, etc contains a piece of God and he feels our emotions. 

This was absolutely the most amazing awareness I could possibly ever have as a soul having a human experience. Inside every soul we all know all these things. We are all finely tuned with God, but as humans we experience God’s veil which prevents us from having this awareness.  If we knew all of this, we would want to go back and it would pollute God’s ability to challenge us. It is the reason suicide is considered so bad in all religions. I was basking in this awareness and waiting to be told what the awareness would be. Suddenly, an Angel, standing to my left behind me, instructed me to turn around to my right, so that I could see the lives that would be ahead of me. . . and I was falling, tumbling, and then a hard bang and I was back in my body, racked with pain. I could not breath. I could not think about anything but pain. I was alive. I was pretty mad about it. I immediately missed Heaven. I wanted to go back. I became angry that I could not stay in Heaven. I was angry that I did not know what the meaning of the coat of awareness. I had no road map, no guide, no one to show me the way. The adults had not idea what had happened and simply took me home. Apparently I told everyone I was fine. But, for me, I did not remember anything for days. How long was I gone? a moment, a day? Who knew. Who cared. I wasn’t in Heaven and that is all I cared about. I have spend the remainder of my life trying to understand what happened that day. Why I was sent back and when could I return? I long to return back to my heavenly home, that amazing place of love and beauty, back to my real and true home with God.

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